Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
