"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
