Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
