I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize