sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
