I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
