Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
