i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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