Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
my shit smells like andre
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize