I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Randomize
