why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
honey bunches of taint.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize