Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize