i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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