My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just want nice things and good sex
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
