what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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