Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
There are leaves in my underwear?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
