You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
