Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
