Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize