I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
