Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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