So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
