I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
