ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
