I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
