Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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