Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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