You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
