Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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