did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
