So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
