I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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