It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
We're too hungover to prance.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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