rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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