Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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