It was confusing and full of hummus
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
