I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
