the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
