im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
