Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
