...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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