After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
They are going to name an STD after you.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
