Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize