how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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