he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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