It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
