did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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