the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize