Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
