Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
