Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
