Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
