Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
please come you make the beer taste better
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
