Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
