I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
