god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Randomize
