I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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