sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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