this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I love having hate sex.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
