I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
