there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
